In One Game the Orioles Proved They Are The Sissiest Team In the League... Oh Yeah and the A's Won Again

Courtesy of baltimoresun.com

Manny Machado is one of the best, young players in baseball but now we know he is also a whiney prima donna.

So this standard, routine play happened in the 3rd inning of the Orioles-Athletics game last night:

Several things to note here:

1. Poor baserunning by a supposedly cerebral, intelligent baseball player in Machado. Just inch your way down the basepath to third base, make Donaldson throw the ball to first, and maybe he makes an error and you score on the play. The only person who should be mad on this play is Buck Showalter for Machado's lack of sense.

2. Donaldson needs to make sure he tags Machado, because in this era of instant replay if you don't definitively tag the runner there is a solid chance he could end up being safe. Did Donaldson leave any doubt that he tagged Machado? Nope that was definitely out number three. Was the tag a little on the rough side? Not even, there have been plenty of more forceful tags this year in baseball.

3. Machado caused himself to fall by juking out of the baseline and stumbling over his own feet. The ridiculous helmet throw and overreaction that followed was unwarranted and unjustified. I understand you're one of the best young players in the MLB, but get off your high horse you entitled bitch, you haven't really accomplished much yet. If you didn't want to jeopardize your knee then don't try to make a LeSean McCoy-esque juke move when you're gonna get called out for being out of the baseline anyway.

4. Hilarious reaction by not only Donaldson but the third base umpire. Go ahead watch the play again. The ump can't control his laughter and when other players step in to separate the two, Donaldson and the umpire (Gabe Morales in case anyone cared) shared a nice chuckle at the childish Machado's temper tantrum. I know Machado is one of the younger players in the league but I didn't realize he was a pre-pubescent Little League crybaby.

So I instantly lost all respect for Machado, which prior to that was actually pretty high as he is one of the best young all-around players in the game and he did return remarkably quickly from that knee injury. Silly me for thinking it would end there:


What a classy move by Showalter and those big, bad Orioles. Not only is this perhaps the best 3rd Baseman in the game right now but he also already went YABO in the first inning for his 17th of the year. So after our "star" 3B gets all overreacts and gets all pissy let's just toss a couple up near his chin, maybe that will rattle him and he'll get himself tossed. I can see Showalter's thoughts right now: "Maybe we can turn this around and make him look like the bad guy here". Yea that backfired a little bit didn't it Bucky.

Speaking of moves that backfired, let's all watch slow, fat Nelson Cruz cost his team it's best shot at winning the game:


HAHAHAHAHA good try Nelson. Yea I get it, the shift was on, nobody was holding him on, he looks like a hero if he's safe, blah blah blah. But here are some thoughts that clearly went right over Cruz's head when he was turning the wheels at third:

- I am 33 years old, 230 blubbery pounds, and nowhere near the runner I used to be.

- Chris Davis, that guy that lead baseball in home runs and RBI last year and also already hit a homer in this game, is at-bat right now. Perhaps there's a chance he could knock me in.

- This is the Oakland A's, the best team in the American League and a team built on intangibles and making the heads-up play.

- Remind myself of thought #1.

That play went exactly as I expected, Nelson Cruz was out by a mile, and the Athletics would go on to win the game in extras.

So to summarize this fun game between two fairly talented teams, we learned that A) Manny Machado is a prissy prima donna who doesn't like getting love tapped in the chest; B) The Orioles and specifically Buck Showalter not only condone, but encourage crybabies and are just bonafide class-acts; C) Josh Donaldson is one hell of a player and the A's are the runaway favorite to win the AL pennant right now; D) Nelson Cruz can hit home runs but probably shouldn't be a 3rd Base Coach once his playing days are over