Courtesy of pittsburgh.cbslocal.com You bet your ass I am going to be front row for this fight. |
Catcher Russell Martin had an idea of how to settle things: Martin challenged Brewers backup catcher Martin Maldonado to a one-on-one offseason charity fight.
Moments after the benches cleared, Maldonado connected with Travis Snider’s left eye. Martin and the Pirates took exception to the fact that Snider was being bear-hugged and held back by Rickie Weeks at the time of the punch.
“It’d be fun to see how Maldonado acts if it’s a one-on-one-type situation to see if he’s the same type of guy,” said Martin.
“We can raise some money for charity and we can battle it out, me and him, you know? No teammates around for protection. I’m throwing it out there.”
Martin, who will be a free agent at the close of the 2014 season, said the timing would be perfect for a celebrity scuffle for charity.
“If he wants to do that, he wants to go and have a fight for charity in the offseason? My contract comes up at the end of the season, so before I sign a contract I can do whatever I want,” said Martin. “I’d be completely willing to do that. If he’s up for that I’m down.”
Pay-Per-View wouldn't cut it for me, not even a little bit. When this thing goes down, and if Maldonado isn't a giant pussy hiding behind his mask then it will happen, I will be sitting ringside hoping to perhaps catch a souvenir blood-spatter or perhaps one of Maldonado's teeth as he gets his face bashed in. Who knows I may even bring a Canadian flag to wave around (although thats probably pushing it).
What I love here is how nonchalantly Russell proposed this idea. He disguised his true intentions by making it about raising money for charity and saying this offseason would be a perfect time to throw down, all the while pulling the veil over everyone's eyes and not showing them his true desire punch Maldonado's skull in. In anticipation of the fight we'll go over the tale of the tape:
Russell Martin Martin Maldonado
Age: 31 Age: 27
Height: 5'10" Height: 6'0"
Weight: 215 Weight: 230
- 3-time All-Star - Somehow hit the cover off a baseball once
- Played hockey in high school
So while Maldonado does have a slight advantage in size, there is no way he comes out on top in this one. Russell is a seasoned veteran and you know he was in his fair share of vicious scraps playing high school hockey in Canada. I imagine he wasn't pulling off DSC's with regularity so it was probably his job to knock the crap out of the other teams top players. Can't wait to see him send Maldonado back to the Puerto Rican slum he came from with one swift uppercut.
P.S. Notice how Russell looks like a hardo leading his men into battle while Maldonado looks like Derek Zoolander posing for Vogue or some shit like that.
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